The rules are simple: If she is in a commercial she can be drafted. The only restrictions are ladies in ads promoting a TV show or Movie or ladies who achieved mainstream Film/TV fame before appearing in the commercial. Sorry, but the Famous Actresses Draft is for another time.
After all the participants gathered, their twitter handles were placed in a data randomizer and the result would be the final draft order. The 2012 Commercial Girl draft order was:
- TheGuruStu
- Titanium_R_A
- JNorris25
- Rights_of_bill
- JoeInBugaha
- DeanNoLongerInO
- Fidoz
- MastTerBase
- Duncanstein (me)
- Derse12
- TheFrancisPablo
NOTE: The Commercial Girl Draft is for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance between this and any real entry draft, past or present, is purely coincidental. Seeking Your Own Satori, its contributors, Ape Donkey, and all drafters sincerely thank the ladies involved for the work they do and want nothing more than to keep the tone of this draft light-hearted and complimentary.
FIRST ROUND| Pick | Overall | Drafter | Commercial Girl |
| 1 | 1 | TheGuruStu | Romolicious from the NFL Network Fantasy Football Commercial |
| 2 | 2 | Titanium_R_A | Reebok Easy Tone Girl |
| 3 | 3 | JNorris25 | College in PJ’s girl from Education Connection |
| 4 | 4 | Rights_of_Bill | Golfer mom from Zyrtec commercial |
| 5 | 5 | JoeInBugaha | Jessica Frech, The Singing Hyundai Guitarist Girl |
| 6 | 6 | DeanNoLongerInO | The Girl From 4E From State Farm |
| 7 | 7 | Fidoz | The Date from Heineken’s “The Date” commercial |
| 8 | 8 | MastTerBase | Blonde from the Kumho Tires Beach Commercial |
| 9 | 9 | Duncanstein | Andrea Bogart, the weather lady from AT&T’s “Hey Marcel!” commercial |
| 10 | 10 | Derse12 | The British girl from the Old Spice Commercial (video semi-NSFW) |
| 11 | 11 | TheFrancisPablo | Sally from the Subway “Betrayal” commercial |
SECOND ROUND
| Pick | Overall | Drafter | Commercial Girl |
| 1 | 12 | TheGuruStu | The Facebook Girl form the Toyota Venza Commercial |
| 2 | 13 | Titanium_R_A | The lady from the “Don’t Close the…Dooooor” House Hunters on HGTV promo |
| 3 | 14 | JNorris25 | The Treadmill Girl from the Worx Energy Commercial |
| 4 | 15 | Rights_of_Bill | The Vegas Road Trip Girl from the Crest 3D White Strips Commercial |
| 5 | 16 | JoeInBugaha | Denise from Taco Bell |
| 6 | 17 | DeanNoLongerInO | The “Change Me Back” (After) Girl from State Farm’s Anniversary Ad |
| 7 | 18 | Fidoz | The T-Mobile Girl. |
| 8 | 19 | MastTerBase | Nicole Taylor, the Corona Beach Getaway Checkout Line Girl |
| 9 | 20 | Duncanstein | Purple Dress Girl from State Farm’s “Dark Side” Ad |
| 10 | 21 | Derse12 | The Original Orbit Girl, Vanessa Branch |
| 11 | 22 | TheFrancisPablo | Samantha from the Subway Ads |
THIRD ROUND
| Pick | Overall | Drafter | Commercial Girl |
| 1 | 23 | TheGuruStu | “Daddy Don’t Want No Cologne” Girl from Best Buy’s “Disproportionately-Huge-Rage-at-Santa” Campaign. |
| 2 | 24 | Titanium_R_A | Nathalie Kelley from the Schick Quattro Ad |
| 3 | 25 | JNorris25 | Milana Dadamjana of Zippearz.com Earphones |
| 4 | 26 | Rights_of_Bill | The Lexus Elevator Girl |
| 5 | 27 | JoeInBugaha | The Super C-U-T-E Old Navy Kim Kardashian Lookalike |
| 6 | 28 | DeanNoLongerInO | Go Daddy Girl Who Was Knocked Out By a Locker Door* |
| 7 | 29 | Fidoz | Blue Print Dress iPod Touch Enjoyer |
| 8 | 30 | MastTerBase | Tore Miesi, model famous for the Benefiber Commercial |
| 9 | 31 | Duncanstein | The Agent from State Farm’s “Leather Pants” commercial |
| 10 | 32 | Derse12 | The Mother (first one) from the Worx Commercial |
| 11 | 33 | TheFrancisPablo | Marina, 27, from a Proactive Commercial I Cannot Track Down Anywhere |
FOURTH ROUND
| Pick | Overall | Drafter | Commercial Girl |
| 1 | 34 | TheGuruStu | Natalie Garza, one of the most recent Doublemint Twins from 2005 |
| Titanium_R_A | CONCLUDED HIS PARTICIPATION IN THE FIRST FIVE ROUNDS | ||
| 2 | 35 | JNorris25 | Eleanor Wells of the Sketchers Shape-Ups ad |
| Rights_of_Bill | MISSED DRAFT TIME LIMIT, MOVED TO END OF ROUND | ||
| 3 | 36 | JoeInBugaha | Blonde Miller Lite Cabana Bartender |
| 4 | 37 | DeanNoLongerInO | The Pitchlady from the the Shakeweight commercial |
| 5 | 38 | Fidoz | Verizon “Rule The Air” Lady |
| 6 | 39 | MastTerBase | Lingerie Wearer from the Windows Phone “Really?!” Commercial” |
| 7 | 40 | Duncanstein | The McDonald’s “Pet Name” Girl |
| 8 | 41 | Derse12 | The Miller Lite “Momma’s Boy” Bartender |
| 9 | 42 | TheFrancisPablo | Lauren Ashley Bishop of Mini Babybel fame |
| 10 | 43 | Rights_of_Bill | Esurance “You DJ On the Weekends?” Girl |
FIFTH ROUND
| Pick | Overall | Drafter | Commercial Girl |
| 1 | 44 | TheGuruStu | Nicole Garza, The Second Doublemint Twin from 2005 |
| Titanium_R_A | CONCLUDED HIS PARTICIPATION IN THE FIRST FIVE ROUNDS | ||
| 2 | 45 | JNorris25 | The Lay’s Potato Chip Redhead |
| 3 | 46 | Rights_of_Bill | Taco Bell Denise’s Co-Worker |
| 4 | 47 | JoeInBugaha | Girlfriend of the Crying Miller Lite Airport Guy |
| 5 | 48 | DeanNoLongerInO | Ginger Date Searcher from Zooks |
| 6 | 49 | Fidoz | The Labcoated *ahem* “Scientist” from the Trojan Bareskin Ad |
| 7 | 50 | MastTerBase | Very Skilled Blonde in the Tic Tacs Commercial* |
| 8 | 51 | Duncanstein | KGB SMS Knowledge Base Girl |
| 9 | 52 | Derse12 | |
| 10 | 53 | TheFrancisPablo | The Miller Lite “Man Purse” Bartender |
This concluded the “Commercial Girl” selection of our little thought exercise (I say “thought exercise” because it sounds more sophisticated than “Pervfest”). But there’s one last round: The Coach’s Round. Here, our intrepid GM’s choose from the field of ANY currently-running TV show to “coach” the squad they created. After all, what is TV but the next level up from TV commercials? Leadership is big.
SIXTH ROUND—THE COACH’S ROUND
| Pick | Drafter | Commercial Girl “Coach” |
| 1 | TheGuruStu | Maria Bello–Prime Suspect |
| Titanium_R_A | ||
| 2 | JNorris25 | April Bowlby–Drop Dead Diva |
| 3 | Rights_of_Bill | Elisha Cuthbert–Happy Endings |
| 4 | JoeInBugaha | Cobie Smulders–How I Met Your Mother* |
| 5 | DeanNoLongerInO | The Girl from TMZ With the Horn-Rimmed Glasses, who is not only a real person but popular enough to be a suggested search term on Google. |
| 6 | Fidoz | Aubrey Plaza–Parks and Recreation |
| 7 | MastTerBase | Gillian Jacobs–Community |
| 8 | Duncanstein | Jane Levy–Suburgatory |
| Derse12 | ||
| 9 | TheFrancisPablo | Katie Aselton–The League |
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WAIVER WIRE
Every sports fan knows that the week after any draft is rife with “final touch” moves as each organization scrambles to get in the best position possible. Sadly, that means draftees (especially late-round draftees) are released in favor of an undrafted free agent. The first of such moves was made today. It (and any subsequent ones) is outlined below:
Drafter
|
Waived Commercial Girl
|
Acquired Commercial Girl
|
MastTerBase
|
Skilled Tic Tac Lady (Rd 5, 50)
|
Aveeno Girl in the field with the young child
|
JoeInBugaha
|
Cobie Smulders (Coach)
|
Kaley Cuoco
|
DeanNoLongerInO
|
GoDaddy Locker Girl (Rd 3, 28)
|
Girl from the “Hottie to Nottie” Worx ad
|
MastTerBase
|
Aveeno Girl in the field with the young child (WAIVER)
|
FINAL ROSTERS—As Of February 5, 2012
Manager
|
Roster
|
TheGuruStu
|
Romolicious, Toyota Venza Facebook, “Daddy Don’t Want No Cologne,” Doublemint Twin 1, Doublemint Twin 2, Maria Bello (Coach)
|
Titanium_R_A
|
Reebok Easy Tone, House Hunters “Don’t Close the Door,” Schick Quattro,
|
JNorris25
|
College in PJ’s, Worx Treadmill, Zippearz.com Earphones, Sketchers Shape-Ups, Lays Potato Chip Readhead, April Bowlby (Coach)
|
Rights_of_Bill
|
Zyrtec Golfer Mom, Crest 3D Vegas Road Trip, Lexus Elevator, Esurance “Do You DJ?” Taco Bell Denise’s Co-Worker, Elisha Cuthbert (Coach)
|
JoeInBugaha
|
Hyundai Singer, Taco Bell Denise, Super C-U-T-E, Blonde Miller Lite Cabana, Crying Miller Lite Airport Girlfriend, Cobie Smulders (Coach)
|
DeanNoLongerInO
|
Girl From 4E, State Farm “Change Me Back” (after), GoDaddy Knocked Out By Locker Door, Shakeweight Pitchlady, Zooks ginger, Glasses TMZ Girl (Coach)
|
Fidoz
|
Heinekin Date, T-Mobile Girl, iPod Touch Blue Dress, Verizon “Rule The Air,” Trojan Bare Skin Scientist, Aubrey Plaza (Coach)
|
MastTerBase
|
Kumho Tires Girl, Corona Beach Getaway Checkout Line, Benefiber Model, Windows Phone Lingerie, eHarmony iPhone Girl, Jillian Jacobs (Coach)
|
Duncanstein
|
“Hey Marcel” Weather Girl, State Farm “Dark Side” Sensitivity Blonde, State Farm “Leather Pants” Agent, McDonalds “Pet Name,” KGB SMS Text Service, Jane Levy (Coach)
|
Derse12
|
British Old Spice, Original Orbit Girl, Worx Mother, Miller Lite “Momma’s Boy,”
|
TheFrancisPablo
|
Subway Sally, Subway Samantha, Proactive Marina, 27, Lauren Ashley Bishop of Mini Babybel, Miller Lite “Man Purse,” Katie Aselton (Coach)
|
What is the next step in the 2012 Commercial Girl Draft? Who knows? Maybe it'll be a fountain of numerous inside jokes, maybe it'll be the start of a grand tradition, maybe it'll be a source of unfathomable embarrassment in a few years. Either way there will be a permanent record of what we did to start the new year somewhere. One thing is for sure: The next time somebody says the T-Mobile Girl is a first-rounder, we finally have definitive proof that she is not. Something great happened over the long weekend. It just didn't happen here.
NOTE: The Commercial Girl Draft is for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance between this and any real entry draft, past or present, is purely coincidental. Seeking Your Own Satori, its contributors, Ape Donkey, and all drafters sincerely thank the ladies involved for the work they do and want nothing more than to keep the tone of this draft light-hearted and complimentary.
